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Ask Not What Women Bloggers Can Do for You … Getting Things Done in the Blogosphere

Rosie the Riveter is the inspiration behind my latest observations of how women are taking their lives into their own hands, or blogs.

Who You Calling MommyBlogger? The Web's Most Influential and Diverse Community Begs You to Stop Generalizing

Understanding a group that's not so sure about their name, or what you assume to be true about them.

What Presidents Both Dead and Alive Tell Me About the Future of Social Media

Wonder where social media is going? Ask our Founding Fathers.

Are We Becoming a Bunch of Twitter Tales?: Looking for a Code of Smart Tweeting

Recently I was speaking with a colleague in the industry who was perturbed by an entry she'd read on Twitter by someone she'd just met with, who consequently mentioned their meeting in his Twitter feed. There weren't many details; how much proprietary info can you fit into 140 characters? Still, she told me, it irked her. The meeting was set to determine suitability for partnering with this person's company. With more than 20 years in media, she wasn't accustomed to publicizing any meetings with potential partners or clients unless they resulted in something signed and on paper.

"Total amateur move," she said. "This guy's showing all of his cards."

Honestly, I wonder then, how many "amateurs" are out there, and whether we need to be worried about showing our hands, so to speak, on a platform that makes mincemeat out of the subtleties of in-person communication. Or whether my colleague needs to get with the program (or platform).

Reading my Twitter feed this week, I found many innocuous updates, many promotional ones, and sprinkled in were a few from professional contacts that were politically partisan in nature--most of which I agreed with--but which made me question the wisdom behind mixing political affiliation with professional networking. And then there were some that struck me as even more dangerous. One contact provided updates on his corporate fundraising. The positive spin he took was likely a construct for the public, and one that seemed unnecessary. I wondered why he would bother mentioning his fundraising at all.

In mentioning this topic I feel a tad hypocritical. I've been coaching companies and small businesses to default to transparency for well-nigh four years! What's the harm in sharing where your company stands? Isn't this practically the duty of any new media leader?

As much as I agree with transparency, I do believe there are limits. And platforms like Twitter that require abbreviated, less formal communication provides a deceptive invitation to share things that are counteractive to the purpose for why people use the tool in the first place. Someone with no business or promotional aspirations may not suffer any consequences for sharing such opinions as "McCain is an idiot," but for me, someone who manages a "clientele" of bloggers with political views ranging from far left to far right, and with corporate clients that observe all degrees of corporate discretion, I've had to think hard about what I divulge. I don't recommend that companies clam up online; I only encourage them to think about their purpose, and the entire range of the people they are broadcasting to, and consider messaging from there.

I was sent a copy of Peggy Post's latest book to review, Excuse Me, But I Was Next. Not my thing to review on my blog, but fascinating nonetheless. I'm impressed with Post (the granddaughter of the famous etiquette expert Emily Post), whose advice still supports what I fear may be a dying art while still taking into account the need to communicate. In reading her section on making small talk in social settings I found myself agreeing with her advice. Divisive issues such as politics are not necessarily hands-off topics, she says, but you must get a handle on the views of the people you are talking to. And even then, consider the alacrity with which you express your views. I say, consider the purpose for being in the setting. For instance, I agreed with the views of a friend who was vociferously against Proposition 8 out here in California, but given that we were at a PR luncheon talking about a research study, where we were sitting with people I'd never met before, I kept my views to facts, not opinion, and certainly not insults when pressed for my take.

"I felt strongly about the issue," I said, "and our community on BlogHer landed in both directions on the issue."

But unless you are only following people with your political/social/sexual affiliation you can't "feel out" your audience on Twitter. Twitter doesn't allow us (yet) to create distinctions for the different types of people following us. We can't send certain messages to, say, go to those who are only Democrats, or polyamorous. We can't possibly know all of the proclivities of the people with whom we network.

Increasingly, my concerns are not just for corporate communicators. Bloggers who want to partner with companies should think about them too. I've spoken with many marketing execs who follow bloggers. There isn't a blogger blacklist, but there are a few that won't be asked to review product anytime soon. To be fair to advertisers, they aren't looking for the "yes" bloggers, whose sole blogging/microblogging purpose is to push product, though frankly that kind of enthusiasm doesn't hurt. But they do question bloggers who mix very loaded political and sexual topics in their posts, who use their platform to criticize and create acidic debate, and who love the F word and to talk about how drunk they were last night. This list is not exhaustive.

Of course, we often love to read Tweets for their candid content, but what's the ultimate purpose of your Twitter feed: to get as many followers as possible, or to attract opportunities? You get the gist.

I would love to create a Code of Smart Tweeting, for bloggers and marketers, and wonder where to start. Where do you draw the line? I'll publish responses in my various outlets, including BlogHer and JackMyers.com.

 
 
 

Digital Marketing Anti-Predictions: What I Hope Goes Away in 2009

My Prediction Piece, on JackMyers.com. I should not have defaulted to the edit team for the graphic. Oy!

In Relationship Therapy with my Blog

I just read a post on Mike Manuel's Media Gorilla Blog called "Why Blogging Has Become Harder". I don't usually read posts that are not business-related anymore, but I was drawn to it, especially this passage:

The truth is, last year was an amazingly good, but challenging year for me at Voce. We won several big accounts. We grew our team. We formalized partnerships (and forged new ones). We innovated. And where we could, we shared what was working. And amidst all of this, I must admit, I felt an increasing need (really, a responsibility) to focus whatever extra attention, energy and know-how I had on my projects, my clients and my teams.

As a result, I went dark online.

But here’s the other truth: My insularity was also influenced by my frustration with the signal to noise ratio, especially around social media consulting. When everybody’s talking and acting like they’re the experts, the last thing I wanted to do — really, the last thing I could do — was to try and show my expertise by shouting the loudest or talking the longest. That doesn’t help anyone, plus, you know, I don’t want to be that guy...

I commented on Mike's post, realizing that I had more to say than just what I had posted:

Mike, I had a similar Come-to-Jesus moment looking back at my blog during my first real vacay in years and realizing how little I’ve contributed to my digital legacy, and yet it was a time when I’ve done more speaking and educating on social media and marketing. It depressed me that my blog bling was outdated (I couldn’t even quite remember how to change it!) and that my meatiest recent piece was on wearing tight jeans. I used to geek out on social media, even get sweaty writing about it! But alas, the more work we have In Real Life, the less time I’ve had to participate online. I’m going to endeavor to get re-involved–how else do people put their money where their mouths are? But in different fashion than in 2005. I actually have a JOB other than reading blogs and writing four hours a day. It should be interesting.

This has been my struggle for the past few years. Even at the BlogHer Conference, when I'm surrounded by women who spend enormous amounts of time on their blogs, and women who are just opening to this life-altering pursuit, I feel alienated. I can only hear their stories and nod, knowing that at one time I could relate. Today, I just help pay for the booze. I know there's more to it, but when I'm just sitting on my ass, or am doing what my blog tagline indicates--"sitting still"--I become Annie Dillard, wistful for the writing life.

Mike's right, there is much more flotsam out there on the Web, and it's difficult being able to follow it so closely that you can say something that hasn't already been said in a comment on TechCrunch, let alone in a fully-fleshed blog post. Some of us have removed the obstacles of other commitments by designating our best thoughts to Twitter, just getting them out there, unroasted, before we overthink them or they fade away. Back when I had a non-start-up job, I used to jot down ideas, then work on them at night, going to bed minutes after clicking "Publish." Now, I struggle at night to catch up on email.

But you know, a lot of this is beginning of the year resolution making, a lot of talk. If I were in therapy right now, my shrink would insist that I stop talking about my blog like it's not in the room with me. I have to address it directly. Here goes:

Blog, it's true, I know it. I haven't been seeing you as much. And because of that I'm ashamed and stay away. It gets harder to come see you because every time I come back I see signs of my neglect. TypePad has added so many new features I don't recognize your dashboard anymore. I struggle to add and remove Typelists. I push publish again and again, and still no change. I know that I'll need to go deeper, into your source code, to truly make changes, but I struggle with the commitment. The commitment I once had, when for hours I would explore every last feature you had, upload images, even have H-band create new headers for categories, when you were my everything, I've saved for other pursuits, like ensuring payroll.  

It seems, I became so excited about you that I took it to a macro level. I needed to help others enjoy what I enjoyed when I began to write every day. It started with a conference, then grew to something that exceeded any part-time effort. I still kept posting to you, but by then I had a business to run, and you could no longer be the receptacle of personal takes on my business pursuits, because now there were others besides H-band whose privacy I needed to protect. People like employees and investors.

Yes, there have been others, but you knew about the print gigs--I even wrote about them here--and the affair with Fast Company. I promise you, JackMyers.com is strictly professional, and of course I have to blog on your sister, BlogHer.com, from time to time. You have to be realistic. Sometimes she even links back to you.

While I cannot promise that I will be back to visit everyday, I will think of you more. I'm not sure what our relationship will look like. When you were raised to help me sort out what I was passionate about, and you did just that. Perhaps now you can help me stay on what I'm passionate about. I can ask you the questions I can't elsewhere. Just know that, while most of your traffic consists of Google Searches on the word "sex", and people who are wondering what I've been up to since high school, I still value you. You've documented me at my best and my worst, been the place I've gone to in good times and frankly horrible ones. I'll be back.

Be patient with me. I'm still working through this phase, where I commute and travel a lot and, you know, work. There's a lot of exciting stuff to share with you about the people and companies I get to meet, but I haven't yet figured out how to share this stuff with you. I promise to work on that. I'll remember to call, or at least post, more regularly. I also promise to visit Mom more often. 

Pondering Motringate, the economy, and my take on agencies playing nice

My latest on JackMyers.com.

What the Motrin Moms Campaign (and resulting MomBlogger reaction) Can Teach Us About Redemption in the Blogosphere

We Can't Fully Leverage Social Media Until Brands, Media Buyers, and PR Learn to Play in the Sandbox Together

 In This Economy, Why Invest in Social Media?

On being a girl in tech

A number of things happened this week that made me think about being one:

 

--Inclusion with Lisa and Elisa on being a top female Web 2.0 Influencer over at the Fast Company site. We join Marissa Mayer, Mena Trott, Dina Kaplan, Kaliya Hamlin, and other ladies I admire. What can I say?

Of course no list can do us all justice, so do hop over to Allyson Kapin's great list, where some other deserving women are mentioned, including Susan Mernit, Tara Hunt, and Mary Hodder.

--While traveling, I read an interesting piece in Inc. Magazine about Columbia University business professor Amar Bhidé's contrarian theories, including his lack of concern about the growing imbalance of free trade. He made an interesting point about Americans: Why should we feel threatened by global competition in tech and manufacturing when our collective talent is taking others' products and commercializing them better than anyone else? The Internet World Wide Web itself was invented by a British scientist in Switzerland; we Americans just took that ball and ran with it.

So that's what Americans do: We are wide receivers, spreaders of the word, supercommunicators. Similarly, with BlogHer, I feel the innovation behind our business is leveraging existing social media tools to allow the full effect of women's influence.

For that reason I've never considered myself a girl in tech. I've always been a girl in commmunications.

BlogHer'08

It has become a bit of a tradition after the BlogHer conference for me to sit and read as much as humanly possible about the conference--the overwhelming good and the smattering of less good. Of course, when something is your baby the bad sticks in your mind, but over the years I've become much better at giving things their proportional due. Sometimes there are other circumstances in play, facts not understood or known by the blogger, and sometimes it's just good feedback for the future.

I've been asked what were highlights for me at BlogHer, and after much thought I have the following list:

--The Community Keynote: Hands down, loved it. Before BlogHer was a twinkle in anyone's eye I was a personal/Naked blogger. I believe in the power of blogs (not for shilling despite the fact I head up Sponsorship and have the role of announcing where you all can find the free stuff at BlogHer) but for transformation and blowing people's minds. With each person who presented I felt that I was up there onstage with her. No, I don't have kids, but I was pumping my fist with Danielle, and holding Yvonne while she spoke, and entranced with how good Antonia could make the word "fart" sound with her uber-sophisticated British accent, and frankly a bit confused by The Bloggess. But it all spoke to me somehow, and to the different Jorys that I don't get to tap daily.

--My Naked Panel: (brilliant write-up Rachel) ...And not just because I moderated it. Full disclosure: I don't pick the panels I'm going to moderate. Elisa asks me and I do it. I'm the Naked blogger amongst the founders and hence, I get to moderate the Naked panels. I had some initial doubts about moderating this year because, frankly, I'm not as naked as I used to be. I can totally relate to Mena, who had a bit of an identity crisis and ratcheted back her public personal blogging to avoid offending or negatively impacting her business. I don't mean to say that if the gloves were off I'd be swinging at bloggers, but with a business and a public face comes mucho considerations. One blogger who is building her business said to me at the conference: "You think I would be looked at seriously by a VC if I wrote about taking Paxil?" And honestly I don't know. I hope that eventually we can build businesses and be completely known for it all, but let's face it, we ain't there yet.

I also had some misgivings for the whole "naked" franchise. I mean, is there still such a thing as naked blogging, or has all personal blogging become somewhat naked? Is there really still such a distinction? And I also worried about the safety of my panelists--one of whom was not to have been identified outside of the room for issues of physical security--and due to the controversial nature of what some of them have dealt with. And finally, I didn't want to scare people off from the notion of disclosure on their blogs. So much of what BlogHer is about is peeling layers and being seen for who we are.

All this said, it couldn't have gone better. My panelists were so open about the issues associated with naked blogging without coming off as alarmist--and they had the right to be. I felt they were "naked" in their disclosures, even when discussing why they were pulling back. I felt the palpable pain bloggers like Mena and Tracey Gaughran-Perez felt when the sense of security they had felt with blogging was compromised, especially after the disclosure of a blogger attending the session who had been stalked and insulted, even after the death of her child. Trolls was a big topic in this panel and in the closing keynote. And to this day, three years after a panel Liza Sabater led on dealing with the negativity in the Blogosphere, I still don't get the need for others to, as Tracey said, "take a dump on your blog and walk away."

--My peeps. In 2005 I lost 5-10 pounds the week of BlogHer. There was just so much to do I couldn't contemplate eating. My biggest fear was not thanking someone properly who needed to be thanked in our announcements. In 2006, I clutched my Yahootini at the end of Day 1 and prayed that the wireless would work better tomorrow. I realized that I needed to experience more of the "magic" that we were creating at these events, even while making sure our sponsors and attendees were happy. In 2007 we added Kristy Sammis to the mix and found that having someone with some mad organizational skills and a wicked sense of humor running the logistics of the event was very necessary for the three co-founders to truly experience the community we were still part of but in some ways removed from by virtue of serving it--it made me sad in '06, and in '07 it went away. And I owe a lot to Kristy for that.

In '08 it was even more palpable, this sense of inspiration that made me personally want to make BlogHer a bigger part of my life. And in no small way this is because of Kristy and others who shared the work--and believe me, it IS work--to bring something I could never have imagined creating myself. What kinda brings tears to my eyes is not only the dedication of our team, who stayed and smiled throughout the event and made it their mission to make others smile, but also their SPOUSES and SIGNIFICANT OTHERS who did the same. Jeanne Beacom (the blonde with the red bow in her hair; and yes, she's over 21, despite those who thought she was a minor) and Micah (if I've misspelled, I beg forgiveness), Kristy's better half, Pete (dude, did you actually help all the sponsors pack up their stuff at the end of the day???), Joy Johnson and Trip (who outlasted me at the Newbie party, and thanks, Trip, for grabbing me a glass of wine). Spencer Owens, who may have been mistaken for Edward Norton a few times and unwittingly found himself being interviewed and branded "man at BlogHer", who represented and even brought his wife, Katherine and little Zia. Miriam Anton, who came to us just two months ago but who owned this event and even brought Ruben, her husband, to the party to experience BlogHer, and Heather David, someone who, four months ago, thought she was going to be writing a book, but we needed her, and so she became the human database of everything sponsor-related. Heather, I promise you, that book will be the first on the booksigning table at BlogHer '09.

And, of course, Chris Carfi (who just sort of reduces stress when he's in the room and endured being called Mr. Stone) and my Sweetie, Jesse, who always claims he's not going to do very much and then fixes things. He even let me know when my thong was visible--you just don't get that kind of help normally.

--The Sponsorships: No this isn't Jory-justifies-her-existence time. This is my heartfelt feeling on this. Since this aspect of the conference became my bailiwick I have moved much of the energy I once placed on my blogging to working with companies to "get it right". And no, not everyone considers sipping wine in the shoe department of Macy's as paradise, although many do, and just the willingness--or more accurately, the EXCITEMENT--of Macy's to provide this experience for the bloggers tickled me. The conversations over the years have changed. Fewer companies refuse to sponsor unless they get a demo or 15 minutes to pitch. More ask me, "how can we make this fun?" or meaningful and then bend over backwards to do just that. This year, they rolled out the red carpet to the bloggers and said, "walk on it, or not. Just know you are welcome."

I got up superearly with 30 or so bloggers who attended the yoga class sponsored by Boca. Boca provided the mats, then let our local instructor take it away, Namaste! Michelin provided test drives and dinner for a few bloggers who stuck around on Sunday. Their mission: to expose bloggers to the brand without interrupting their conference experience. GM was ultimately focused on getting bloggers to the event, period, not on distracting them once they got there. Nintendo, Intuit, HP, Microsoft, iRobot, TNT, Starbucks, Greenopolis, Sesame Workshop, and so many others, just wanted to give folks an experience, a service, and yes, a makeover, if desired. 

So this seems like a nice segue into what I didn't love seeing at BlogHer this year.

--*SOME* of the additional parties. Some people attend conferences like SXSW for the afterparties alone. Who am I to even TRY to make a dent in what has become the parade of extravaganzas for women who have come all this way to meet each other? It wouldn't be very BlogHer of me to go there.

But, taking off the BlogHer co-founder hat for a moment, I thought a few of them were borderline disrespectful of bloggers at the event. I don't agree that you can really have a "community" party by attempting to drag bloggers from the conference during their community keynote, or any of the regular programming. Some of these events are pre-arranged with bloggers, and they go to these events willingly, and in my mind are "above-board". Still, I think that planning events during BlogHer programming is ultimately confusing and dampens their experience. I tell this to all paying sponsors and I'll tell this to the ones who don't financially support BlogHer: please schedule your events so that they don't compete with content or networking. Ultimately the bloggers are here for this purpose. And those sponsors and non-sponsors who asked for best times to schedule a non-BlogHer event, thanks for asking!

There's also an exclusivity issue. If you are going to have an invite-only party, please manage it, and please have a plan for what you are going to do (other than take swag away from them) if other bloggers attend. Last year I got wind of an invite-only event that occurred during our cocktail party that blew up for this reason. We could have helped plan this better. To my delight, this year parties were much more inclusive, and the exclusive parties didn't scream, "you can't come!"

But ultimately, I have nothing against cheeseburgers. Especially afterhours. Rock on!

Freeloaders: Some folks crossed the line of what I thought was cool. Please note: Just because you are handing out free chocolate does not mean that you get a free pass to BlogHer, or that you get to circumvent the hundreds of women who tried to register but couldn't because we reached building capacity, or the sponsors who paid to support the bloggers. Sorry to have to have kicked out a "gentleman" at the Unconference, but I suppose you are now aware of how it works.

I've tried to remove the co-founder bias from this and actually can't completely. I--and the team--bust our asses on making this the most incredible event for bloggers by bloggers, and sometimes it really offends me personally when folks who know BlogHer and know me want to suck up the oxygen we've created rather than add to it. And I don't have the luxury of singling out those that I feel take advantage of our all-inclusiveness.

And to my professional friends: please don't put me in the position of having to tell you you can't come into parties with me because you failed to register on time. Again, there were SO MANY women who could not attend BlogHer because we were past capacity, and because some of you snuck in we were short food and beverage at some of the events. Some of you took advantage of the fact that I wouldn't ask you to leave because I really like you. But it actually embarrassed me. This isn't "Jory's party" it's BlogHer's party. It's not up to me to decide who gets let in and who doesn't.

--Not enough water at the parties: What? You mean there are people who attend who don't drink alcohol? Suggestion duly noted.

--Unfortunate events that may have happened on or offsite at BlogHer. I've read accounts from people who on their way to BlogHer, or during BlogHer, have had some horrible experiences not related to the conference. Perhaps they couldn't afford the trip or became sick, or became sicker.

I can't tell you how sad this makes me. I still have the mentality that I did growing up and wanting everyone to come to the party, and I want anyone who attends to have a meaningful experience. In several instances if a company could not afford to sponsor BlogHer (or didn't want to), I turned them to a blogger who needed sponsorship. At the end of the day, it's all about giving people the chance to be here, or experience it somehow. So when I read about some people who may have felt excluded, or that BlogHer (this giant, amorphous bitch) somehow wouldn't include them, or help them, I wanted to fly out to sit with them all personally and tell them it couldn't be further from the truth.

I won't make excuses for us. We don't have any, nor is there a need for any. We put our hearts and souls into this event, and that's it.

Hugs to the hundreds of women I met, and those I didn't but who smiled at me while I ran from this end to that. I can't thank you enough for being there. You all make me want to keep at this gig.

Help me get my Twitter on

I've noticed that a significant amount of my peeps' blogging has been relegated to Twitter, and I can see why. Tweets are a lot shorter, and in many ways more accepting, than posts. We Tweet the most random stuff, and people are still interested, or not. Doesn't matter. The point is, you are engaging folks; you are trying.

So I'm *trying* and feel like the old farts I try to get to blog who insist that real content must come via print or a "traditional" media source. These are the people, who when they tried blogging, wrote articles instead of posts, and wrote with formality. I still edit for Tweet-worthiness. And God forbid I ask for feedback, like I did when I was in Spain. By the time I remembered to check back for suggested restaurants in Barcelona, I was back in New York.

It takes a huge paradigm shift to get into the mindset of sharing in Tweets. I'm just not feeling my Twitter mojo yet, that sensation similar to what I had when I became addicted to blogging. When that happened, every experience would immediately become translated into a post. I would immediately begin thinking through how it would read on the blog. I have yet to have an experience that I can whittle down a thought or experience into 140 characters.

Nor do I have a rhythm. I notice that some people Twitter in Tweet clusters: I'm near my computer or mobile phone and have 5 mins to kill, hence I will throw out three or four Tweets. I'm a cluster Twitterer, though even my clusters are few and far between. Others are more dutiful. They keep a feed going in some fashion at all times. You could get a decent picture of their life just by reading their daily dispatches.

Then there are those from whom we get the goods. They've taken to Twitter like flies to a rumproast and get and give the goods on people. They pick fights, throw out statements they know will get picked apart and responded to. I was really good at sifting through my RSS feeds for the jewels. I'm less good at sifting through Twitter feeds.

I'll take some tips and hints.