I'm a hugger, and I never thought that much about it. When I'm at parties and meet people for the first time, I hug them before I leave. I see people I know on the street, I hug them. When I'm seeing people in business settings that I know well I hug them. It only just occurred to me recently that we don't all have the same criteria around when we should hug in the office, especially if it's a male-female interaction.
I was recently visiting with clients that I know well. I've worked with one of my contacts for three years now. He makes it out to San Francisco every few months, and it's always good to talk social media with him. I know him well enough to know he's planning his wedding, which takes place in a few weeks.
When I saw him and his co-worker I approached arms out. I had just come back from BlogHer in Chicago, where I had been used to hugging, even kissing people on the cheek. I forget that while me and my business pal are friendly, he's not so much a hugger. Upon reaching out for him, he swerved for the shoulder-to-shoulder hug, looking off to the side. I accidentally whacked him in the face with the hand I reserve to clutch and pat my huggee on the back.
To prove I'm becoming more like my mother every day I reverted to her method of pain reduction and reactively grabbed his face, because somehow grabbing someone's face makes whacking them hurt less. Just when he was probably thinking, "please don't touch me any more than you already have."
I've stopped kissing people on the cheek except when I'm in NYC, and even then I assess the target. Probably the dumbest thing I ever did was this May when, despite all the hubbub about swine flu, I went to a friend's wedding in Mexico, came back with a raging cold, and still insisted on making my way to New York for a conference and some meetings. I visited with another professional pal who asked me what I've been up to.
"Just got back from Mexico," I said, then started hacking uncontrollably.
"Oh really?" he said, trying to not look overly concerned. As I left, I grabbed the poor man, who was relocating to an office in another country, hugged him and provided a cheek-to-cheek airkiss.
"Besta luck!" I said.
I envisioned what he was saying to himself silently, "Typhoid freak, please leave."
I know exactly where you're coming from Jory!
I'm a hugger, and if I feel like we're mates (and your female) I'll kiss your cheek.
I've found that while this is pretty standard in Australia, it always throws Americans - even where I'm based in NYC.
Has led to more than one awkward interaction, especially as I'm in a female dominated industry.
Posted by: Paull Young | August 13, 2009 at 09:23 AM
Ah yes, I believe you need a hug right now
(((((((Jory)))))))...and a kiss ~X~ for good measure.....and a tiny little slap for putting your mother through that whole Mexico thing. ~Mom
Posted by: Joy | August 13, 2009 at 10:49 AM
You are your mother's daughter. Xoxo!
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