Another chapter in the life of a cryer

Life is hard when you are a cryer. You have to bring extra Kleenex to movies. You have to be extra vigilant at weddings, graduations, and funerals that you don't look like Joan Jett in the rain. You have to contemplate whether to wear mascara. You have to endure condescending terms for your tendency to cry: "She's emotional." "She really feels things." "She's that way." You have to constantly explain to people you really aren't that upset; you just cry a lot.

I've cried at things that some people would consider appropriate, and some things that wouldn't typically elicit that kind of emotion:

• Weddings--no brainer. My own: I berated myself for thinking I could get through a page-long speech without losing it.
• People dying in films. This is common. But I'll cry for anyone who dies in a movie; they don't even have to be good guys. Characters don't even have to die; they can just get sick, or have a bad day.
• National Conventions--Get the spouse and the family to join you onstage and I go from misty to overflowing.
• Olympics--You don't even have to win anything. You just have to show up and run your event/hit your double backflip/score a point at ping pong and you got me.
• Feel good reality shows. Extreme Makeover, the unveilings on TLC's What Not to Wear.
• Cheesy endings of redemption movies. I saw the end of Cool Runnings the other day. I thought it sucked. I cried. I know that the writing is formulaic and the plot simplistic. And I snort and even verbally condemn movies like these, but I still cry.
• Feel good stories. I cried when I saw how a woman funded kids' education with her life savings, how mothers saved up breast milk for needy children abroad, when an African woman emigrated and made a new life in America, when a woman won a Weber Grill on Oprah. All crying material.

I do believe it's genetic. Not to blame it on people or anything. I recall my Dad, despite the hard exterior, breaking down while watching John Wayne movies, hearing the "Little Drummer Boy" on the radio, or watching RiverDance. Swear to God. My mother taught me the triggers. It doesn't matter what people say at these events, but any wedding, graduation, speech with words "I just want to thank" tweaks the tear ducts.

I was surprised this weekend when I was watching the TV series "Heroes" with H-band. I made a movement with my hand that he misinterpreted as me wiping away a tear.

"I know, Babe. This show gets me emotional, too." I looked over and saw that H-band was getting misty.

I felt conflicted. I wanted to correct him and say, "Actually, I'm not crying," but I didn't want to discourage him. Maybe now someone else could cry with me, and I wouldn't have to be the only puffy face coming out of the movie theater. We could both be puffy. We could cry together in solidarity.

"Actually, Honey, I wasn't crying. That's great that you can cry though."

H-band felt bruised: "Why are you lying! Whatever ... you were crying."

I sat there, disappointed with how that turned out , thinking, "Heroes? Sheesh!"

Comments

[jen]

I bawled my eyes out during the last episode of 6 feet under when it showed what happened to all the main characters.

It's not so hot when you don't want to cry at work. That's a hard one.

[Adventures In Babywearing]

I can sooo relate. I also just had a baby eo everything makes me weep. And Heroes? I was crying at how BAD it is this season. Ugh.

Steph

[teri]

I'm a cryer too...just wait 'til you have kids - your factor gets doubled by default.

[becky]

I'm the same way. I cry at everything. Even commercials. And it's worse now that I've had a baby. Child in danger? Hint of danger? I bawl. I had to change channels the other night when Law & Order: SVU featured a bunch of kids. Gah!

[Stephanie in KY]

I share all your triggers, plus a lot of others that seem to make no sense at all. My uncle used to be a mounted police officer, and he carried the American flag once during the opening portion of a traveling rodeo. I cried like a baby, while his wife and daughter stood there looking at me as if I had lost my mind. I also cried during RiverDance, and I'm not Irish. Or a dancer.

[Joy]

We're cryers...plain and simple honey....everyone of us ladies in the family. Hey, I've even caught Joe on a few occasions, though I don't think he'd fess-up to it...'something in my eye' crap. We already know your dad was a notorious cryer....he didn't even try to hide it.

We're also laughers...stomach-holding, tear-flowing, pink-cheeked, breath-gasping laughers. So I guess we cover both ends of the spectrum very nicely....and that's not so bad; plus I think we have a lot of company. ~Mom xo

[Diane Dutton]

Oh and we thought we were so tough, women business executives!

I cry at everything - I think its an age thing - I hit the big 50 which of course is the new 40 so great except for crying at commercials, sermons at church,yes, the family scene at political events, and just recently reading Og Mandino's "The Greatest Salesman in the World". The book came out in 1968 and is so powerful - but a tear-jerker for sure!

My only questions is how many cry on the job??? That's the tough one - how can we be taken seriously when we get so emotional?

Love some thoughts...

[ScottD]

I never was a crier until becoming a Dad. I agree with Joy - it's unstoppable now. The Beijing Olympics just about dehydrated me to a salt stone.

Personally, I enjoy the trust of a fellow exec being comfortable enough to cry with me. It means you are taking it VERY seriously. ;-)

SD

[Diar]

oh god, i'm also a crier and lots of times people around me don't like the moment every time i cry, but screw them...

i'm glad i'm not the only creature who cries every time someoen dies (movies, books, etc.)

[Wendi]

Hi, Jory! I think we met briefly at BlogHer in Boston.
Your blog is wonderful.
And as for the crying? Once when I had PMS I shed a tear when Rodeo was kicked off of "Bret Michaels: Rock of Love" on VH-1. Not a proud moment, to say the least.

Wendi Aarons

Great info, keep up the good posts!

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