BlogHer'08

It has become a bit of a tradition after the BlogHer conference for me to sit and read as much as humanly possible about the conference--the overwhelming good and the smattering of less good. Of course, when something is your baby the bad sticks in your mind, but over the years I've become much better at giving things their proportional due. Sometimes there are other circumstances in play, facts not understood or known by the blogger, and sometimes it's just good feedback for the future.

I've been asked what were highlights for me at BlogHer, and after much thought I have the following list:

--The Community Keynote: Hands down, loved it. Before BlogHer was a twinkle in anyone's eye I was a personal/Naked blogger. I believe in the power of blogs (not for shilling despite the fact I head up Sponsorship and have the role of announcing where you all can find the free stuff at BlogHer) but for transformation and blowing people's minds. With each person who presented I felt that I was up there onstage with her. No, I don't have kids, but I was pumping my fist with Danielle, and holding Yvonne while she spoke, and entranced with how good Antonia could make the word "fart" sound with her uber-sophisticated British accent, and frankly a bit confused by The Bloggess. But it all spoke to me somehow, and to the different Jorys that I don't get to tap daily.

--My Naked Panel: (brilliant write-up Rachel) ...And not just because I moderated it. Full disclosure: I don't pick the panels I'm going to moderate. Elisa asks me and I do it. I'm the Naked blogger amongst the founders and hence, I get to moderate the Naked panels. I had some initial doubts about moderating this year because, frankly, I'm not as naked as I used to be. I can totally relate to Mena, who had a bit of an identity crisis and ratcheted back her public personal blogging to avoid offending or negatively impacting her business. I don't mean to say that if the gloves were off I'd be swinging at bloggers, but with a business and a public face comes mucho considerations. One blogger who is building her business said to me at the conference: "You think I would be looked at seriously by a VC if I wrote about taking Paxil?" And honestly I don't know. I hope that eventually we can build businesses and be completely known for it all, but let's face it, we ain't there yet.

I also had some misgivings for the whole "naked" franchise. I mean, is there still such a thing as naked blogging, or has all personal blogging become somewhat naked? Is there really still such a distinction? And I also worried about the safety of my panelists--one of whom was not to have been identified outside of the room for issues of physical security--and due to the controversial nature of what some of them have dealt with. And finally, I didn't want to scare people off from the notion of disclosure on their blogs. So much of what BlogHer is about is peeling layers and being seen for who we are.

All this said, it couldn't have gone better. My panelists were so open about the issues associated with naked blogging without coming off as alarmist--and they had the right to be. I felt they were "naked" in their disclosures, even when discussing why they were pulling back. I felt the palpable pain bloggers like Mena and Tracey Gaughran-Perez felt when the sense of security they had felt with blogging was compromised, especially after the disclosure of a blogger attending the session who had been stalked and insulted, even after the death of her child. Trolls was a big topic in this panel and in the closing keynote. And to this day, three years after a panel Liza Sabater led on dealing with the negativity in the Blogosphere, I still don't get the need for others to, as Tracey said, "take a dump on your blog and walk away."

--My peeps. In 2005 I lost 5-10 pounds the week of BlogHer. There was just so much to do I couldn't contemplate eating. My biggest fear was not thanking someone properly who needed to be thanked in our announcements. In 2006, I clutched my Yahootini at the end of Day 1 and prayed that the wireless would work better tomorrow. I realized that I needed to experience more of the "magic" that we were creating at these events, even while making sure our sponsors and attendees were happy. In 2007 we added Kristy Sammis to the mix and found that having someone with some mad organizational skills and a wicked sense of humor running the logistics of the event was very necessary for the three co-founders to truly experience the community we were still part of but in some ways removed from by virtue of serving it--it made me sad in '06, and in '07 it went away. And I owe a lot to Kristy for that.

In '08 it was even more palpable, this sense of inspiration that made me personally want to make BlogHer a bigger part of my life. And in no small way this is because of Kristy and others who shared the work--and believe me, it IS work--to bring something I could never have imagined creating myself. What kinda brings tears to my eyes is not only the dedication of our team, who stayed and smiled throughout the event and made it their mission to make others smile, but also their SPOUSES and SIGNIFICANT OTHERS who did the same. Jeanne Beacom (the blonde with the red bow in her hair; and yes, she's over 21, despite those who thought she was a minor) and Micah (if I've misspelled, I beg forgiveness), Kristy's better half, Pete (dude, did you actually help all the sponsors pack up their stuff at the end of the day???), Joy Johnson and Trip (who outlasted me at the Newbie party, and thanks, Trip, for grabbing me a glass of wine). Spencer Owens, who may have been mistaken for Edward Norton a few times and unwittingly found himself being interviewed and branded "man at BlogHer", who represented and even brought his wife, Katherine and little Zia. Miriam Anton, who came to us just two months ago but who owned this event and even brought Ruben, her husband, to the party to experience BlogHer, and Heather David, someone who, four months ago, thought she was going to be writing a book, but we needed her, and so she became the human database of everything sponsor-related. Heather, I promise you, that book will be the first on the booksigning table at BlogHer '09.

And, of course, Chris Carfi (who just sort of reduces stress when he's in the room and endured being called Mr. Stone) and my Sweetie, Jesse, who always claims he's not going to do very much and then fixes things. He even let me know when my thong was visible--you just don't get that kind of help normally.

--The Sponsorships: No this isn't Jory-justifies-her-existence time. This is my heartfelt feeling on this. Since this aspect of the conference became my bailiwick I have moved much of the energy I once placed on my blogging to working with companies to "get it right". And no, not everyone considers sipping wine in the shoe department of Macy's as paradise, although many do, and just the willingness--or more accurately, the EXCITEMENT--of Macy's to provide this experience for the bloggers tickled me. The conversations over the years have changed. Fewer companies refuse to sponsor unless they get a demo or 15 minutes to pitch. More ask me, "how can we make this fun?" or meaningful and then bend over backwards to do just that. This year, they rolled out the red carpet to the bloggers and said, "walk on it, or not. Just know you are welcome."

I got up superearly with 30 or so bloggers who attended the yoga class sponsored by Boca. Boca provided the mats, then let our local instructor take it away, Namaste! Michelin provided test drives and dinner for a few bloggers who stuck around on Sunday. Their mission: to expose bloggers to the brand without interrupting their conference experience. GM was ultimately focused on getting bloggers to the event, period, not on distracting them once they got there. Nintendo, Intuit, HP, Microsoft, iRobot, TNT, Starbucks, Greenopolis, Sesame Workshop, and so many others, just wanted to give folks an experience, a service, and yes, a makeover, if desired. 

So this seems like a nice segue into what I didn't love seeing at BlogHer this year.

--*SOME* of the additional parties. Some people attend conferences like SXSW for the afterparties alone. Who am I to even TRY to make a dent in what has become the parade of extravaganzas for women who have come all this way to meet each other? It wouldn't be very BlogHer of me to go there.

But, taking off the BlogHer co-founder hat for a moment, I thought a few of them were borderline disrespectful of bloggers at the event. I don't agree that you can really have a "community" party by attempting to drag bloggers from the conference during their community keynote, or any of the regular programming. Some of these events are pre-arranged with bloggers, and they go to these events willingly, and in my mind are "above-board". Still, I think that planning events during BlogHer programming is ultimately confusing and dampens their experience. I tell this to all paying sponsors and I'll tell this to the ones who don't financially support BlogHer: please schedule your events so that they don't compete with content or networking. Ultimately the bloggers are here for this purpose. And those sponsors and non-sponsors who asked for best times to schedule a non-BlogHer event, thanks for asking!

There's also an exclusivity issue. If you are going to have an invite-only party, please manage it, and please have a plan for what you are going to do (other than take swag away from them) if other bloggers attend. Last year I got wind of an invite-only event that occurred during our cocktail party that blew up for this reason. We could have helped plan this better. To my delight, this year parties were much more inclusive, and the exclusive parties didn't scream, "you can't come!"

But ultimately, I have nothing against cheeseburgers. Especially afterhours. Rock on!

Freeloaders: Some folks crossed the line of what I thought was cool. Please note: Just because you are handing out free chocolate does not mean that you get a free pass to BlogHer, or that you get to circumvent the hundreds of women who tried to register but couldn't because we reached building capacity, or the sponsors who paid to support the bloggers. Sorry to have to have kicked out a "gentleman" at the Unconference, but I suppose you are now aware of how it works.

I've tried to remove the co-founder bias from this and actually can't completely. I--and the team--bust our asses on making this the most incredible event for bloggers by bloggers, and sometimes it really offends me personally when folks who know BlogHer and know me want to suck up the oxygen we've created rather than add to it. And I don't have the luxury of singling out those that I feel take advantage of our all-inclusiveness.

And to my professional friends: please don't put me in the position of having to tell you you can't come into parties with me because you failed to register on time. Again, there were SO MANY women who could not attend BlogHer because we were past capacity, and because some of you snuck in we were short food and beverage at some of the events. Some of you took advantage of the fact that I wouldn't ask you to leave because I really like you. But it actually embarrassed me. This isn't "Jory's party" it's BlogHer's party. It's not up to me to decide who gets let in and who doesn't.

--Not enough water at the parties: What? You mean there are people who attend who don't drink alcohol? Suggestion duly noted.

--Unfortunate events that may have happened on or offsite at BlogHer. I've read accounts from people who on their way to BlogHer, or during BlogHer, have had some horrible experiences not related to the conference. Perhaps they couldn't afford the trip or became sick, or became sicker.

I can't tell you how sad this makes me. I still have the mentality that I did growing up and wanting everyone to come to the party, and I want anyone who attends to have a meaningful experience. In several instances if a company could not afford to sponsor BlogHer (or didn't want to), I turned them to a blogger who needed sponsorship. At the end of the day, it's all about giving people the chance to be here, or experience it somehow. So when I read about some people who may have felt excluded, or that BlogHer (this giant, amorphous bitch) somehow wouldn't include them, or help them, I wanted to fly out to sit with them all personally and tell them it couldn't be further from the truth.

I won't make excuses for us. We don't have any, nor is there a need for any. We put our hearts and souls into this event, and that's it.

Hugs to the hundreds of women I met, and those I didn't but who smiled at me while I ran from this end to that. I can't thank you enough for being there. You all make me want to keep at this gig.

Comments

[miffy]

Jory, beautifully stated. Tho I read from afar, if there is ANYTHING I can ever do to volunteer in anyway, just reach out. What BlogHer offers if amazing! Thank you to all of the staff for always going the extra "post"!!
Congratulations...

[Lotta]

The keynotes were amazing and I would love to see more of those next year. Perhaps broken up into two days so we could have more?

I think you and the other founders should be so proud of this amazing thing you've created with Blogher.

I don't know if I'll have the mental stamina to go another year. But I will always be rooting you all on.

[Jenny, Bloggess]

"...and frankly a bit confused by The Bloggess."

I think that's going to be my new tagline.

[Adventures In Babywearing]

Jory, this was my first BlogHer experience and I left feeling like every single moment of the weekend was worth it, and more. I am that more excited about next year's conference. I am so impressed, encouraged, enlightened, all those good things. Only good experiences for me all around- and I quickly forgave the fact that there was no water at the Macy's party (I'm pregnant and thirsty and was told to go down to the restrooms and use the water fountain.) But there were way more opportunities to make the best of ANY situation, pretty much. And I also found this photo on the blogher08 flickr feed and my heart beats even more...

http://www.flickr.com/photos/cheekyattitude/2682088041/

Thank you for doing such a FABULOUS job.

Steph

[Abby J]

Hi Jory, I really enjoyed my first BlogHer, too. I LOVED the keynotes!! so brilliant. Thank you for reflecting on your experience as a leader/facilitator. For me it's so hard sometimes to see the good/successes in proportion to the bad/challenges and to feel present myself when I'm always the facilitator and it feels like an out of body experience! It's inspiring to see what a great leader you are!

Abby

[Kira Wampler]

Jory - great conference and great post! All of us from Intuit really enjoyed the experience, and we hope that the BlogHer attendees benefited from our involvement. We'd love to hear more about what we could do better in a future event. all the best, Kira

[Tara Anderson]

Jory, as someone who has planned little tiny baby events (compared to BlogHer), I think you and the other BlogHer organizers did an AMAZING job. Logistically, everything was taken care of and the amount of activities on the schedule was incredible, if a bit overwhelming.

I loved reading this post because it's obvious that your heart goes into this conference. I thank you for all your hard work and am excited to see how BlogHer will continue to grow.

[Jen]

I had an absolutely AMAZING experience at BlogHer! I met women that I've been reading and admiring for years. I networked (even got a paid blogging position out of it--seriously!) and learned and grew. It was phenomenal!

The only changes I'd suggest would be formatting--maybe alter the tracks so that they're more oriented toward the bloggers' goals/stage of experience (i.e., a track for personal bloggers, a track for niche/topical bloggers, a track for experienced/monetized bloggers, and a track for new bloggers). The only reason I'd move things around is that there were often competing sessions that were relevant to me as a niche blogger.

Anyway, to wrap up a VERY long-winded document, great job, well done, and I'll see you at the ReachOut in DC!

[Lara]

Jory,
We met briefly, and I didn't have the chance to thank you and tell how much I admire what you all have done with BlogHer. This was my first conference, and I got so much out of it (and keep getting even more with distance). I especially appreciate the way you listen to the community and adjust according to its needs.
I second the formatting idea: I'd love to have a forum to engage in discussion on race/gender in more depth.
Thanks again!

[Missy]

Jory, I've said this a million times, but I freaking love you. And right now, I mean that in the sense of I love what you three founders have created and made for all of us to experience and enjoy. I had an absolutely amazing time at the conference and while I can understand how negative feelings arise, you should be so so proud of everything it's become.

[ByJane]

Jory,
I love the idea of BlogHer as some amorphous bitch! Is she tall or short? Dressed in black or exclusively Talbotts? Maybe she ought to take questions and comments from the crowd, so that they have a real place to put their fester instead of spreading the wealth. Okay, now that I've got that out of my system.

The conference was terrific this year. This is my third and I have seen it evolve. Always I am proud to be a part of it; always I am so grateful to you and Elisa and Lisa for sticking your necks out and making this thing for all of us. Thank you....

[patti digh]

Thanks for this - loved reading about it, and am sorry I was committed to teaching in Portland and couldn't be there. Will definitely be there in 2009!

[carmen]

I love Blogher and what it stands for. Thank you for everything, Jory, from the bottom of my heart. I'm blown away by all you do for us every day in every way.

[amy]

you all rocked- I could have made out with you all. It was bliss. xo

[Cynthia Samuels]

You know my views but having produced a few events and TV thingies myself I am in awe of the logistics and creativity that you all exert on our behalf. It is so gratefully received and, as I wrote on my own post, gives us energy for the rest of the year. BlogHer Now, BLogHer Forever!

[Ellen Gerstein]

Jory,
In my corporate role as a marketer, BlogHer offers me an opportunity to connect with and converse with my customers that I simply cannot get in any other manner. For this, we are grateful.

In my role as a speaker at the conference, I was amazed, humbled, and inspired by the people on and attending my panel. I sincerely thank you for the opportunity to participate in this way.

In my real life as a blogger, I have to say that BlogHer the conference kicks ass, because people like you and your team make it so. I expected the world at this conference, and received it. I cannot thank you enough for what you have done for the community.

--Ellen

[schmutzie]

You are being featured on Five Star Friday:
http://www.fivestarfriday.com/2008/07/five-star-friday-edition-16.html

[Shamelessly Sassy]

Sadly, I didn't make to BlogHer this year. However, I will be there with bells on next year.

[Babybloomr]

Very well said.
I was a newbie and am now a total convert-- I will absolutely drink the BlogHer koolaid anytime, (preferably in the form of the incredible fresh blackberry mojito I had at a little place around Union Sq., just ask, I will totally hook you up.)
I thought it was all so well planned and obviously well-thought through. I had a few middle school moments to be sure, but that reflects MY lack, not yours.
I will be back next year, I will submit posts to the Keynote contest, I will volunteer, I would love to be on a panel, if elected I will serve.
And yes, I am aware of the fact that this attitude along with the aforementioned koolaid-drinking reference is starting to sound kind of creepy. Sorry.
And P.S.? I for one LOVED the surrealistic Macy's Progressive Cocktail Party! Do it again!

[Tracee Sioux]

I had a wonderful time. I was exceedingly impressed. My husband and the men I made it a point to speak to said, "I wish our usual conferences were this nice." Really, every conference organizer should look to blog her to learn how to incorporate "the feminine" and acknowledge the existence of families. BRAVO!

The one thing I'm loath to give up was the paper. I really wanted the handouts from the panels to use later and help me remember. I missed a lot of speakers names and a lot of blog names and didn't find looking it up to be very simple, but really time consuming. Emotionally it was frustrating. I think this is one of those things that provide enough real value to skip the "greening" of it.

[crockpot lady]

I couldn't have possibly had a better time. thank you.
-steph

[Heather B.]

Well said, Jory. At the end of the night at Macy's I was sitting with Kristy and Elisa remarking on how effing exhausted the entire weekend made me but if I was exhausted I can't imagine how you all felt. Despite the flaws- which every single conference/convention has - it's been great to see BlogHer grow up and blossom and get better each year. So thanks to you, Kristy, Elisa and Lisa for doing what you all do.

[sweetney]

heart you muchly, lady. just wanted to point out my last name is spelled "Gaughran-Perez" :) had a wonderful time and our panel ROCKED, largely due to your awesomeness. xoxo

[Janice (5 Minutes for Mom)]

Susan and I (we are those identical twin bloggers who chatted with you during the unconference lunch time) had such a fabulous time at BlogHer08. You all did a FANTASTIC job and we recognize all the blood, sweat and tears that go into such a huge event.

We want to thank you so sincerely for chatting with us - your friendliness and helpful blogging advice were a wonderful highlight at the end of an incredible conference! THANK YOU!!!!

[Rachel Inbar]

I had a great time (again)! Well worth the trip from Israel :-)