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December 09, 2007

Comments

Gunnar

Jory, what a powerful post. What a gift to hug your dad again. My mind takes a half hour to turn on after my body wakes up so I don't have that power to force dreams to continue, but I understood your struggle to keep it a real dream. I don't think my grandparents have appeared in my dreams but recently I've had incredibly vivid memories of them. Take care, Gunnar

Denise

(((Jory))))

Joy

I'm at a loss honey. I don't know what to say. I can only cry at your touching and beautiful words. Your dad. That's him...just as you describe him in his visit.

He's been in my dreams many times at different stages in our lives, but so often toward the end. I've even felt his presence a time or two in the middle of the night. I've never been sure how to receive those feelings. I just lay very still listening and looking into the blackness.

I wish your dream afforded you more time with your dad...what an amazing and special experience sweetie. I can't stop crying from the emotion of your words. ~Mom -xo-

Koan

Jory, I feel sad for the brevity of your dream - and happy for the fact that it was, apparently, true to your Dad.

I tend to say to people, in that awful moment of having to say something after a bereavement, that "they're still alive, while we still remember them". And this is one way that that's true.

The sad thing for me, though, is that I cannot recall a loved one from my past ever visiting me in a dream. Only hated ones... yet even they don't seem to visit, any more.

Oh Jory! What a beautiful story. Each of my parents "came" to me in dreams soon after their deaths; my dad also showed up in the facial expressions of a Chinese man in a Dim Sum restaurant (my son saw it too, but that's another story.) Anyway, a Vietnamese woman once asked me, right after my mom died, if she had come to me in my dreams. She had! How did she know? In Vietnamese tradition, our parents return, as your friend's girlfriend did, to help us get past the initial grief and loss and make sure we are ok. And that initial pain does pass.

What doesn't leave is the lingering grief and regret for visits not made, things undone, words unspoken. It seems to be part of the deal. I guess there's some comfort in knowing how common the feelings are.

When my dad died my 14-year-old son was so angry. He wondered if it was worth loving someone when it hurt so much to lose him. I told him then, and believe now, that our only choices are to love those we know we will someday lose, or to spend our lives alone. The blessings of dreams like yours are reminders of which is the wise choice.

PS I always knew you were a brilliant businesswoman and friend, but I guess hadn't read enough to realize what a remarkable WRITER you are! So many talents!

Kay Dennison

Great, Jory!!! If you meditate on this, he might just visit again. I had a psychic tell me a few years ago that my dad hasn't crossed over because he was worried about me and felt he needed to keep an eye on me. At first, it scared me but now I'm not afraid. I had a reading not too long ago and according to the reader, he's still around watching. She explained a way of communicating with him but I haven't tried it yet. I'm probably afraid I'll catch hell about not living up to my potential which is everyone's gripe with me.

Have any of your sibs seen him?

Marilyn

I'm glad he came to you, Jory.

Troy

Hey Jor-

I'm glad you got to have such a moment. A few months after my grandfather passed away, he visited me in a dream. We were riding in a classic convertible, the tops of our golf bags peeking just over the back seats. We arrived at his old country club, Shannopin CC in PA, where we met Frank Sinatra on the first tee (why this latter bit, I have no idea). But I do know that my grandfather and I proceeded to have a blast beating the tar out of Ol' Blue Eyes on the course! I just remember how fun, relaxed and REAL this all too-short round felt.

My grandfather was a pretty serious man (and golfer) who was quite demanding of his children and grandkids, but it was so great to just hang out with him, even in a dream. I'd been feeling bad that I had had to miss his funeral (I made it to the visitation but had to fly back before the actual event), and all that went away after this dream.

Years later (actually, about six months ago), I was playing golf in a charity event for work out here in AZ. I actually chipped one in and someone complimented me on my swing. I replied that much of what I learned about golf came from my grandfather, whom I never beat...not even once he turned 70. Anyway, I went to the cup to retrieve my golf ball, and as I picked up "my" ball, I noticed it had an unfamiliar logo on it. Somehow, I had managed to finish that hole with a ball that I didn't start the day with (or at least remember starting with). Guess what the logo read?

Shannopin Country Club.

I had never seen that ball and have no idea how I got it (if I'd noticed it before, I probably would have saved it before hitting it), or even how a golf ball from the hills of PA found its way to the desert of AZ. But the message was not lost on me.

Gramps was quite the joker, and I know this was just his witty way of saying, "I saw that. Nice shot, kid."

John

That was a touching post. To loose a parent is a great loss. I was left hoping that he would say something, but life is truly different than fiction

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