The Not-so-Newlywed update: 14.5 months after the wedding

"What's going on over there?" H-band says, eyeing the accumulation of people one gate over. The travel paranoia has set in, that fear of being the last to know the newly posted departure time, of being abandoned by our airline.

I'm not supposed to be upset about delays; I'm on vacation. But the usual instincts kick in. "Extra time to get things done,' I say to myself, checking my new Blackberry for new messages. Opening my outlook and reading mail that is losing its grip on me, but that still clings, nonetheless.

H-band and I got up early this morning to get to the East Coast by dinnertime. Now we're experiencing delays, with every update providing deepeningly worse news. I wonder to myself, I have to put up with this shit all year round, when I'm working and traveling, why am I spending Sunday in the Dallas Airport again?

it's different this time; H-band is here, griping with me. I don't have to be quite as vigilant about keeping watch over my personal belongings when he's traveling with me. I feel like a child when he says, at each new inflection point of our travel schedule, "Got your phone? Your boarding pass? Your wallet?" but I appreciate it too. When you travel so much it's quite nice having someone take on the load of staying organized. I can sit here and blog while he investigates our revised travel schedule. And if our flight magically occurs earlier, he'll run and grab my stuff while I power down.

I've been enjoying the additional love coming my way when H-band gets things he's really wanted. I got an evening of this when I bought him a Calphalon Wok; I expect at least a week of it, now that he's bought his latest toy: a pimped out Ibis mountain bike--his seventh bicycle. H-band doesn't mess around when he decides it's time for a new bike. You can almost predict when the itch will start--around bonus-paying periods, or when he happens to come into money. H-band made totaling his WRX and getting a Christmas bonus work in his favor.

"You know, Babe," he said. "I've been really, really needing a new mountain bike. You may recall that I've talked about this before."

"I don't know why you need to justify this to me; have I ever been able to stop you when it came to buying anything related to cycling?"

"But no, Babe. This is different. This is OUR money now. I want you to support this purchase."

"OK...what if I said I want to buy a new sideboard first. We still haven't unpacked the dishes we got from the wedding.'

"There's a time for everything, Babe. I'm just feeling that it's time to get this bike."

"Oh."

"Do you support me?"

"Whatever."

"Don't say that! I want you to be excited about it."

"Excited about what? Now you have a bike for every day of the week. Remember when you bought the Rock Lobster? You were so excited about that bike, and when was the last time you rode that?"

"But that bike is for the velodrome, babe. I ride it whenever I go to the velodrome." (Incidentally the last time was 3 months ago, and the time before that, five months).

I've learned that marriage isn't always bowing to the rational. It's letting people be irrational if it makes them happy. I thought of what H-band has let me do in support of my often irrational pursuits. Sometimes I don't get away from my computer for days, and the plates of food pile up, and my promises to clean up and get dinner started are forgotten because I've got important work to do. Sometimes I do things that he tells me not to--like spray Simple Green directly on my Treo to clean it, rather than wipe it with a cloth; or I leave 35 browser windows open on my laptop, despite his pleas that I stop abusing my electronics. I don't do this on purpose, I just get caught up in my work.

"Babe," I said. "I support this purchase."

"Thank you," he said.

"And thank YOU," I said, "for coming with me to Verizon."

"What are we doing there?"

"I need a new mobile device."

"What happened?"

"Long story."

Comments

[Denise]

OK so what DID happen that sent you off for a new crackberry?

And I do hope you make it to the east coast in time for some relaxation and fun with your family. If you don't, I'll never hear the end of it from your mom who I adore even more than I adore you. So you'd best get there.

Happy holidays - to all of you.

[Kay Dennison]

As someone who was married a lot of years, Jory . . . the only difference between men and boys is the price of their toys and to take that a bit further, they want you to actually LIKE their toys!

Merry Christmas to both of you as well as your families!!!!

[Zandria]

Gotta love that mutual support. :)

Merry Christmas!

[SophiaW]

Jory,
This is hilarious - I totally understand and feel your pain regarding New Bike Disease. About once a year, Noah "really needs" a newer & glitzier bike with an increasingly heavy price tag. This last bike purchase actually didn't bother me - it only amused me. I am finally at peace with the matter - as long as it doesn't break the bank, it's all good. >>> Hope you're doing well, & hi to Jesse. -Sophia Wood

[marriage]

Thank you so much for bringing up this, you have very informative blog. :)

winnie