I was staying at my sister Julie's in her new home in New Jersey, just a half-hour train ride from New York City. It was a Sunday, and my niece, Bella, had been invited to a birthday party of a neighbor's down the street.
"Let's get in the car, Bella," Julie said.
"Why does she need to get in the car?" I asked. "Isn't the party at the neighbor's?"
"Birthday parties are never at people's homes," Julie said. "They are usually at a venue. This one is at a pottery making shop. They'll do an activity for 45 minutes, have cake and water, and go home. We'll be there an hour and a half, two hours tops."
"What about presents?"
"You still bring them, but they are put in the corner and opened later."
I would appreciate this with a bridal or baby shower--avoiding the laborious gift-opening ritual. But something disturbed me about this updated version of the kiddie party--there was nothing kid-like about it. While kids may not like to sit through a present-opening, I believe I learned a lot about giving and saying thank you from birthday parties. Kids seem to be learning a new skill now: time management. Efficiency. How to engage others socially then run. With the next generation, could we lose the ability to be spontaneous and to just hang out?
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