The Relationship Chronicles: Introducing His Side of the Story

I said it to B-friend for the umpteenth time,

"If you think I exaggerate, then YOU write a blog."

"I think I WILL!"

"Great. I look forward to reading it."

 

He sat there, looking at his vegetarian breakfast. We were at a cafe in Evanston, IL, visiting family. We'd just spent a week together in each other's childhood habitats. His was much more, well, conscious, than mine. He lived a block from the beach outside San Diego where his parents maintain a garden retreat, complete with pool/jacuzzi, orchid greenhouse, fish pond, vegetable crops, and chicken coop. They compost and collect scraps for the chickens. His mother, a physician by trade, drives a Prius, weaves, is active in her yoga practice, and works with victims of torture. His father still practices medicine, runs on the beach every day and has been a vegetarian for 30 years. When I'm there I'm encouraged to take walks and use the same drinking glass every day--why waste water washing new ones?

Then you have the Des Jardins household, smack dab in a suburban Chicago neighborhood ripe with McMansions. Mom drives a Buick that makes strange noises and smells like an Air-Wick Freshener. For our visit she's replenished the candy jars. Our house was made for lounging; the loveseat in the living room has built-in massagers, and there are many wireless items and remotes lying around. Mom was given a recumbent bike that now serves as a recliner. We don't grow our food; we order it for delivery. My older sister Jenna is an antivegetarian--anything leafy, she claims, makes her gag. The windows are rarely open because the air conditioning is always on, and there's always a television on in the background. Feeling a bit obligated to steward the planet after being at B-friend's house I turned the ever-blowing air conditioner from cool to "Economy".

By the end of the week B-friend was vegetable deprived, so we went to a macrobiotic cafe I remembered going to with my Mom and Jenna, convincing them that there was plenty there they would enjoy. Apparently tempeh makes Jenna gag, too. B-friend loved the place.

"I will blog," B-friend exclaimed. "But I want to blog on YOUR blog."

"On PAUSE? Why?"

"I want to provide my side to your stories."

"Sounds boring."

"You afraid?"

"Absolutely not!"

For the record, I have given B-friend my blog password, and he is now welcome to write any response he wants to my blog. Blog rebuttals, or just more detail to round out the story. Do I think he will be kind? Not particularly. But I think it's a useful experiment, on a number of levels:

--As a Naked Blogger, I'm always asked how the people I write about feel about being included in my blog. Allowing him to refute or add commentary keeps me honest and fulfills my purpose of pursuing the truth.

--It will be useful to me, and hopefully to readers, to get the male perspective on my relationship rants.

--It's cheapter than counseling.

Comments

[Joy]

REBUTTAL...
A recliner...ha, ha...very funny. You kill me. True I haven't been using the bike as much as I was, but I will again. Replenish the candy jar(s)...I only have one toots...and by the way you guys used up some of the vegetables in house for Bella...with our blessings. If you were vegetable deprived...it was YOUR own fault. I told you to go and get ANYTHING you wanted for the week....ANYTHING! But did you? NOOOOOO! Now, who's fault is that? And, do remember that we ALL were gone for 4 of those days at family functions...plus the various dinners and lunches you had out with friends. Dare I go on? Yes, I think I shall.

There's not always a television on in the background...at least not on my part lady. Outside of two or three shows for the whole week....I barely watch TV. I'm much more likely to watch a movie or spend time on my computer. I do recall some people needing to watch certain things when they were here...do you recall that? The only other person glued to certain of her TV shows...was Bella.

Now, before everyone came in town I actually had the air conditioner on "Economy"...if I even had it on at all. We had some pretty warm days, and if I had it on cool, it was because I didn't want anyone to be uncomfortable with so many people in the house.

Have I covered everything? Oh, and yes, Jenna doesn't like most vegetables....you were right! Hey, and you didn't even mention my GREAT coffee! -Mom -xo-

[jen]

Yes, another person's version is usually quite different. I can't wait for the b-friend's version!

[celeste @studio 501c blog]

This should be an interesting blog experiment--I see a whole new niche for family therapists....:)

Congrats on your engagement from a lurking but admiring fan. Next time you're in Chicago, and if you're up to it, how 'bout a "meet up" with some of the Bloghers? I, for one, would love to meet you.

Celeste, a few blocks from Evanston

[mothergoosemouse]

I think I love your mother. Will she adopt me? I have a "J" name already.

Interesting experiment! I look forward to hearing B-friend's take.

[Dan]

Oh my God! You have opened Pandora's Box!

[miffy]

Brilliant Jory! No surprise you and the B friend would come up with this scathingly brilliant idea! And, of course, my "Joyful", the first to repond! Only a mother...

[Stacie Penney]

My husband has stated that he is scared to read my blog and will I fix it so people can't find me by searching for my name so that his friends won't read it either?

I laugh evilly and realize I'm totally free.

[Donna]

You are a brave woman -- not just for giving b-friend the go ahead to come in and rebut, but for blogging naked in the first place.

[Caryn]

This should be interesting! It's brave of you to let him comment. I read my husband most posts concerning him before they are published, but he's pretty easy-going about what appears on my blog anyway, and he hasn't had a problem so far. Still, if he could go on with his side of the story, there could be trouble!

[Christien]

It shows a great deal of confidence on your part. Being from the same gender as he, I have a feeling of how it will read. However, being that I like to eat cow, we may not think alike. Quite honestly, it doesn't matter what he write because the bottom line is...

[rosie]

OK....we're waiting b-friend....