On Authenticity

Incidentally, this isnt the first time (nor will it be the last) that I've written on authenticity. I wrote a chapter about it in More Space. Get your sneak peak here. Or, hell, got an hour? You can hear me read my own stuff. Just like having me in your living room, without the hacking cough.

The word "authenticity" hasn't become worn out yet; it's still like all things 2.0, in it's cool period but misused. Everyone wants to BE authentic, but they don't want to make the effort. They want to start blogs and open to the customer, but they don't want to reveal anything worth reading. They want to rise above the rest, but not take risks. Being with these people is like being out to dinner with your husband's boss and colleagues. Everyone is charming and careful. Interaction becomes obligatory and, when no one is looking, avoided.

I was talking to someone today who is trying to promote his new blog for high-level business executives. "We want it to be a place where they share, but no one wants to be on the record," he says. It seems we want to be loved, in business and in life, without being known.

I argue you can't have it both ways. Why fight it? Why have numerous sets of values, numerous lives to fit numerous scenarios? It gets confusing trying to keep them all straight, and Lord, it takes energy--believe me I know.

And, as I describe in my chapter, I learned that it was only through being authentic (something I fought tooth and nail NOT to be) that I felt a connection with people and started getting what I wanted. I no longer felt like a fraud. I learned that people learn how to treat you based on the cues you give them. It you keep them at arms length, guess what?

Companies have for years figured they could fake the closeness through provocative ads, seals of quality, guarantees. But when you've truly connected with customers you don't need to make promises you may not be able to keep. They forgive you and stay with you. They let you get away with flaws, though you have to suck it up from time to time and let them tell you you're flawed. Consider it a compliment when you put yourself or your product out there and you get some criticism. Someone is connecting with you.

One of the messages from BlogOn that stuck with me was this: if you want to truly engage with customers, give up control. Quit trying to look perfect, like you know more than they do about your product, because these days that's impossible. And even if you did you would bore people. Tell us what you did wrong, what you learned, and how you fixed it. Remind us that there are people under the hood.

It no longer pays to be the Best; it pays to be the most authentic.

I sensed some frustration from the PR Industry people in attendance at BlogOn, who had the best of intentions, but were tired of Utopian, self-employed people like myself telling them to be themselves. I understand that this is like having your picture taken by some annoying schmoe who insists that you loosen up. Just the act of trying to loosen up is fake. If you were in your most natural state you'd tell the photographer to shut the hell up.

So how does a company suddenly "loosen up"? I'm the last person to throw out instructions. All companies have different thresholds of comfort, and soloists tend to have more leeway than a corporate blogger, but:

Offer Mea Culpas: If a customer calls you to task, on your blog or off, make it public! Don't take the post down. Or ask if you can publish that customer's complaint, and then do something about it! Nothing like a story of redemption to catch the attention of the media and snarky bloggers. Just as much as we love to demonize starchy companies, we love to create heroes.

Share something personal: Provided you don't break any NDA's or gag orders, or reveal your ties to the mafia, some personal disclosure is appreciated. Lord knows I thought it was super cheesy, a few years back, when one of my bosses took his team out to dinner and asked us to each reveal an interesting detail about ourselves. But I will never forget these people now, one of whom was a playtoy of a prominent female pop star before getting unceremoniously dumped. Humiliation plays quite well with crowds.

Don't freak out when people bust your balls.  Very often you're just being tested. Take the comment, thank your customer for it, agree or disagree, and explain why. Bloggers are used to this kind of discourse, but very often companies new to blogging--or vulnerability of any kind--register criticism as an immediate threat and remain silent or offer platitudes about their product/service that suggest they haven't really heard the customer. Watch Dr. Phil a few times and see how listening is done. The good thing about getting some flak on a blog is you have a moment to breathe and respond.

Read my chapter. I hate How-To. Why tell people what to do, when you can tell a good story instead? Happy reading.

Comments

[Joy Des Jardins]

Jor...this is a terrific post. I love the line, "It no longer pays to be the BEST; it pays to be the most authentic."

[DUST!N]

"One of the messages from BlogOn that stuck with me was this: if you want to truly engage with customers, give up control."

You might disagree with me on this, but giving up control isn't like releasing all influence. I think the idea of giving the customer all of the influence is intimidating to most businesses.

Really businesses don't have to give up control, they just have to realize they don't have control in the first place.

It's more like sailing a ship than steering a car.

[HumanityCritic]

Just passing through, cool blog by the way.

[Rob]

Awesome stuff Jory, just like your essay.

[Lee White]

Seth Godin has one of the best statements regarding authenticity in his book, "All Marketers are Liars". To paraphrase, he says that being authentic means being consistent. (p.74) If you tell a consistent story from every perspective, you never have to worry about to whom you were selling which story. Always be authentic and your story will stand up over time.

As you said, "It gets confusing trying to keep them all straight, and Lord, it takes energy-".

I hope "authenticity" maintains its good name and isn't co-opted too quickly.

[Seun Osewa]

Jory,

I completely fell in love with you after reading your chapter, and I enjoyed Rob of Businesspundit's chapter almost as much.

You must have pushed him really hard to expresss his central message and it came out really clearly. I must thank you for this!

I wish you'd write more engaging full-length articles like that one.

Seun.