I went to a celebratory gathering that takes place every first Saturday of the month in Marin, called The Groove Garden. The point of this event is, simply, to move--however you like to move. The venue provides inspiring surroundings and music to get your groove on.
I spent a lot of time with a friend in the meditation room, discussing life, career, relationships, callings. Then we'd get up, trance out to some music, and go back to chatting some more. I'm amazed at how aimless movement allows consciousness to flow like blood through the body. There's no better way to really think.
While on a dance break I indulged myself in a Tarot Reading by a woman named Sarah, who offered patrons soul work for free. I was her last reading of the night.
At the risk of boring the hell out of you I won't give you a card-by-card commentary, but I will say that I got some amazing insights into my "question," what I asked (silently) to get out of the reading ("Am I anywhere NEAR close to realizing my life purpose?"). I will share them with the intention of opening insights into anyone who might relate:
1. There is a lot of "stimulation" in this world--projects at work, gatherings with friends, the season finale of The Apprentice. They create a lot of noise, but they can't. I have to determine what is my purpose, my objective on this earth, and pick and choose my stimulants accordingly.
This resonates a lot with me, as I imagine it does for anyone who people think are so damn busy but who feel like they've gotten nothing done.
2. Most of my life is internal. Some would read this and say no duh! But for those who are E's (Extroverts) on the Myers-Briggs Personality Test, or who have a large portion of their identities wrapped in the notion that they are "people" people, this is a big honkin' deal. I've always harbored a big secret: I'm a social recluse. I go out, I experience, and then I hunker down for my winter of writing/processing. Perhaps I should out myself to myself and admit that this is how I operate. It would save me time and self-justification.
3. Finding my purpose won't necessarily come like some orgasmic "A-Ha!" moment. It will be a bit painful; I'll have to grieve an aspect of my life. I suspect that aspect will have to do with a previous philosophy of mine around serendipity--the belief that I must do EVERYTHING because I you just never know when luck/opportunity/purpose will strike. Many businesses failed because they tried to be everything to everyone, why can't people who don't stick to their core competencies?
You really can't please all people, or have everyone think you are brilliant, so get over it.
4. Only through the process of self-awareness will I ever be able to give my gift to the world. Damn, I was hoping I would get it through my job, or that someone would tell me what it was. Or that my gift wasn't that difficult to give and I could just throw a dinner party or something. But there is choice involved, and work (though if you are on-track it won't really seem like work, thank goodness). So then, the really hard part is determining, "What is work for me?" Or, what in my life feels meaningless, like some dead appendage I should cut loose?
Knowing the answer isn't hard. It's the cutting loose.
I'm totally relating to this Jor. Finding ones' purpose....that's always the killer, and letting go....hardest of all. Thanks for this one. Joy
Posted by: Joy DJ | October 03, 2004 at 02:20 PM