Through with Dell Technical Support

Gosh I'm not even a tech enthusiast, and I have two days'-worth of blogs devoted to my issues with technical support. Today it's Outlook. Or maybe my whole operating system. Friends have been taking pity on me and trying to help me fix my problems, but we came to a standstill last night. My dear friend Craig took a deep breath. I knew it would be bad.

"You have to call them," he said.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah. You'll have to call Dell." My stomach dropped.

I got up early this morning to get the dirty deed out of the way. I prepared well in advance, having my Service Tags and Express Service numbers at the ready. I waited 20 minutes before getting to gate one. It was a pleasant woman, presumably Indian, who suggested that the lag time on my computer was from some optimizing issue. We went through steps to decrease the number of processes that open, etc. After 20 minutes we were ready to try Outlook again.

It was still slow.

I tried to remain calm. She put me on hold for another 20 minutes while, I suppose, checking with someone else who may have another solution. I settled in with a magazine, waiting another 15 minutes. She came back with another solution--the Outlook repair function. I'd tried that already, but was desperate. The whole process took another 20 minutes.

It was still slow.

She said I would need to be transferred to "software" to determine if I needed to have Office or my whole Operating System reinstalled. The wait was another 20 minutes.

Gate 2. Some high-pitched shrew who thought she knew my computer better than I did. She told me upfront that she wasn't technical assistance, but a gatekeeper determining where lost souls in technical assistance purgatory should be routed.

"Ma'am you need to go to hardware, not software. I will transfer you now..."

"Wait! Please don't do that. I was told that I need to go to software..." she started talking over me. I started yelling over her, "Listen to me!" She continued to talk over me. The cacophony was broken by silence, then a series of clicks. Another 15 minutes later I was connected to Gatekeeper #3.

This woman was in hardware. She, like the previous two women, had an Indian accent, but her voice was much lower. I gave her my service numbers and explained the problem--AGAIN.

"I cannot help you, ma'am. That is a software issue." I started to cry. I heard silence again and clicks. Fifteen minutes later I heard a new voice, an Indian man's, asking me what the problem was.

"Are you in software?" I asked, trying to hold it together.

"Yes, ma'am. What seems to be the problem?"

"Jeeze! Don't you guys talk to each other?" I explained the problem again. He agreed that I needed to reinstall my Office software, and if that didn't work, I'd need to reinstall Windows XP. It sounded so drastic.

"Ok," I said. "Ready. Let's do this...Hello? Hello? HELLO!" I had been disconnected. I waited five minutes--each one of the tech assistance people had taken down my number "in case we got disconnected." But there was no call. I had been dropped. I started deep breathing and batting away tears as I went to online techinical assistance. I received an email back, giving me instructions to do exactly what I did with the first technical assistance person.

I decided God is telling me something--stop and do something else for a while. Or throw the freaking Dell Inspiron 600m out the goddamn window or stalk Michael Dell until I can get some real technical assistance. I would love to have him or Kevin Rollins wait three hours on a technical assistance line.

My computer is nearly new by the way. I have the obligatory one-year service contract.

"You should definitely extend your service contract," a friend said to me.

For what, so I can remain on the brink of insanity for three more years?

Comments

[cz]

Um, I have a lot of co-workers that I believe use that same pc. Are you still in need of a powercord? perhaps one could be liberated and pointed in your direction?

p.s. we met at the Bettie June dinner.

[Jay Rossi]

Just got off the line with Banctec, Dell's supplier of technicians who make house calls. To make a long story short, I have a just-over-one-year-old Dell Dimension XPS desktop machine that died without leaving as much as a crackle or fizzle last Friday the 13th! For the last week, Dell has subjected me to virtually the same experience documented above. While I opted to shout rather than cry (men tend to do that, although many women have told me I am quite sensitive) these last four days, today I changed tactics and videotaped my conversation with Dell's gatekeepers, as well as with their frenetic, fear instilling hold music that would drive any g-d fearing man to take another man's life. The end result: I'm feeling quite good about myself right now. I'm thinking, "Who/where can I find someone to podcast/stream my digital video (roughly 45 minutes) for all to see as a citizens' outcry again the evil Dell empire?!?" Any suggestions for venues that might quickly upload or accept my little documentary are most appreciated.

[james]

next time you have any issues wiht Dell, all you have to do is call dell up and tell them "your computer/laptop does not come on..yea, they might spend a few minutes over the phone with you pluging in a few things to get life out of the PC, however..just lie to the bastards..How are they going to know your lying,,,,just tell them the damn thing does not come on....there, now they are going to dispatch a power supply, and possilby a motherboard for this, When we (Banctec) come over, we will not only replace the parts, you can actually talk to us about your issues, we are american...and well help you out quickly..hoppe this help-s

[frustrated]

I was really glad to see that someone else had gone through what I'm going through. I'm on hold for the 10th time as I'm writing this very message and my experience is exactly like how "permalink" described it. Simply, a nightmare. It's quite frustrating and I think i'm ready to just return it. I can't believe I spent 10 minutes just clarifying that one of my service tag numbers is Z as in Zebra not V as in victory as the tech person kept on repeating (grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr)....and all the transfers between departments...grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
SOmeone just shooot meeeeeeeeee

[Sam]

Next time you guys have a harrowing time like this, ask for a Supervisor instead of speaking to a technician.

[Jean]

I'm currently on hold with Dell Technical Support. The automated voice let me know that it may be 10 minutes for me to reach a technician. It's now been 55 minutes and climbing. While I was listening to the automated voice and annoying hold music, I realized that it may be quicker if I just contact them online. Not one support area is working! I've tried to log in, and it offers me an apology for not letting me in. What is going on?! It's amazing how quickly I could reach someone when I wanted to originally BUY the computer. Now that I've purchased it and the 30 day trial period is up, when I have a problem, I may as well block off 4 hours of my day trying to get the support I need. I'm really frustrated with this. We all have better things to do with our time than hold for technical support. Ugh...this is horrible. And to think, I paid for extra years of this "service." I give up. I'm hanging up and trying another day. Please wish me luck! (Thanks for "listening.")

[Hugh]

Do´n't you people read the warranty, If you do anything that can damage your computer, then its your damn fault, OS gets corrupted very easily that's why you should backup your data once a week, Dell Hw warranty help you troubleshoot over the phone hw issues, but if you want to know how to use stuff, or anything like that try the internet or buy warranty for that, how difficult can it be to troubleshoot a machine or an OS? you are americans you´re supoused to know it all, it's pathetic that american people dunno shit about computers, it's like you were buying a car and don't know how to drive

[What]

Jean?

While it's true that people should at least have some basic knowledge of computing before buying one, it's quite another issue to expect ANYONE to completely tear down their system for troubleshooting over the phone with some 3rd world idiot who can't communicate clearly in the language in which they are trying to conduct business.

It is quite another thing to get so called 'techs' (again from a 3rd World country that has an education level equal to a couple of rocks in a box), that have never even seen the inside of most equipment they try to support.

You asked "How difficult can it be to troubleshoot a machine or an OS?" Apparently, considering the number of MISDIAGNOSED DELL SUPPORT CALLS (yeah, I'm a field tech for them and see this crap every single day), it must be pretty difficult.

Why don't you lose your attitude (or a couple of teeth)? I think people are getting tired of Dell's piss poor support. Watch the sales numbers in the coming years, I'm quite sure they'll drop as people get more irritated with Dell's refusal to provide QUALITY support.

[Wendy]

While waiting on hold for Dell Technical Support, I have been reading the entries. Very funny, and I thought I had trouble with my Mac at home. I'm still on hold for the second time ... we got disconnected the first time after waiting for 20 minutes. The computer won't boot up, and, from the entries made here, I guess I should drop it in the dumpster now and not waste time.

[TAPOBRA ROY]

YEAH , IAM A DELL TECH AND WAT ALL THE GUYS SAID ABOUT DELL IS PIECE OF SHIT.

[TAPOBROTA ROY]

YEAH I AM A DELL CERTIFIED TECH AND ALSO MCSD AND MCSE. ALL THE GUYS SAID WAS A PIECE OF SHIT AND CRAP ............ WAT EVER THEY DO RUN AN EXTENDED TEST AND GO OFF TO SLEEP ............ LIKE I ALWAYS DO. ;)

[Peter]

Its obvious,anyone wud get pizd off who gets such a technical assistance.But sometimes Dell's customers are really dumb,and that's why they get transferred.Guys,its high time you should become self dependent and stop calling for every goddam boo-boo.Its waste of time on both sides.This way u wud keep ur cool.Stop blamin' DEll cause Dell is shit anyways.Don't get your bloomers in an uproar..

[STEVEFROMDELL]

WHOEVER THIS GUY HUGH IS punkyou@navegante.com.sv is a lunatic maniac who calls india a 3rd world country , we seriously doubt on his education as most of these idiots are high school dropouts and are very proud of the kind of BAFOONISM they display .God has put bag fool of shit in their brain and this uneucated fool hugh knows nuthing about INDIA.He is a BASHI BAZOUK and a NINCOMPOOP.A RARE IDIOT and cause of shame to the americans.

[dick hotchkiss]

C'mon! all americans are being racists now.That's why you are gettin' bombed.We want peace and you want it as well.Dont you!So why tthe discrimination.?i am an american settled in india and i think india is a much safer place to live.dude!don't be a brigetty.For the love of Mike,stop cribbin all the time.for americans,KISS MY ROYAL AMERICAN

[Pam]

Dell is a vry nice comp.i never had bad experience wth neither the dell sys nor dell technical support.The techs are extremely knowlegable n courteous spcly techs frm india.Infact i had comparitively negative experience wth us tech support rather thn indian tech support.But as a whole i m vry happy wth Dell i love my Dell.So being an American i apologise on behalf of all those who hve posted bad comments on Dell

[The other side of the Coin]

This is what the other side of the Coin looks like....
The first thing that comes to my mind is that being, so-called a "Super-power" and a leading nation, there are people who does not know what's a system tower is in the first place(which they call in so many names like Modem, Hard Drive, Operating System, and what not)!!!
Secondly, does so called technically superior Americans know the difference between what a Hardware and what a Software is? I have my doubts....
Thirdly, Americans who doubt education level of other people(who has a minimum graduation level education as the bench-mark to apply for jobs), where, in their own back-yard, the average teenager is just a high-school dropout!
Fourthly, even when the technicians are trying to help cust. who doesnot know much about their own systems, and that too, in a foreign language, so-called "English" language-savvy Americans often forget how it would be like to communicate in Chinese, Japanese, Thai, any of the Indian Languages, in Spanish, French or may be German for a change and have a feel of their "superiority".... I have my doubts what makes them think and feel that they are "superior" and in what parameters?
Last, but not the least, if they are so "tech-savvy", WHY ARE ALL THE JOBS WALKING OUT OF THE LAND OF FATHOM-LESS OPPORTUNITIES? Is it just that the labour is cheap? I have my doubts.... so please re-think where you can position yourself....
All the Best, Folks!!!

[volon]

what you dont realize is that you never talked to "dell" per say . you talked to an outsourcer. if you want good ...well half way decent tech support buy under a biz gose stright to an american who is being trested like they work in india. not the best but at least we speak english. also you have to realize that most of us just want to get back at someone because our company "not dell" is screwing us over in overtime and the like. so half way decent support only comes from biz account service tell them your a company and you will get a peedoff american getting paid the same thing a food service worker makes even though we are the ones that have way more knowledge the you ever will. conclusion its not dell its the outsourcers (unable to give names as dell and outsourcer will sue the living heck out of me)

[Adam]

I'd just like to let you all know, I live in the UK and Dell are shit over here too!! Trying to sell their good-for-nothing tat to the unsuspecting public. Wankers!

[Odedairo Tunde]

Anyway am an international student studying for masters degree in the Uk. Actually i got my Dell inspirion 6000 laptop and had no problem with it.I recommended Dell to friends and believe me the response as per customer service was poor.My flatmate desktop developed a problem and we spent days and hours and pound sterling calling the customer service and in return telling us we never existed on their database!!!!At last we got to the supervisor and trust me threaten to go to the court. ain't no worry about the cost? alas the fault was from some lazy staff who are busy chewing gums and drinking tea and are slow in updating their database. So i believe michael dell had no problem, he should just be aware that his staffs are messing up!!!Please get people that are ready to do the job please...............

[Unknown]

To everyone:
I ask you to have mercy on the Dell representative's that you have spoken to in the past, in may or may not speak to in the future.
I regret that you had to go through so much trouble to get what should've been a simple problem resolved.
Dell has policies that the technicians must follow, and they do listen to make sure that the policies are followed.
Many of the people working for Dell are there simply because it is a good paying job, not because they agree with the policies. However, they do want to help, but do not have the ability to do so due to Dell's ridiculous policies.
Please feel free to email me on the address given if you have any problems with your Dell computer in the future, and I'll be more than happy to help!

Sincerly,
A Dell Technical Support Representative

[Par Rylov]

Hi,

I work for a callcenter that handles Dell PCs and laptops in Scandinavia. Dell have a policy that consists of an array of something called Procedures. We support manly HW issues = something is in the mechanical sense in a PC. Your problem is not related to us as i may read between the lines I guess. We cant be responsibel for Outlook or your ISP. What ppl generaly dont get is that in a PC there are about at least 50 diffrent companies that are involved in getting data from A to B. Thats why it is damn hard to trouble shoot a system as many of the vital parts of a system may be troublesome. Now i havent taken into account the fact that I have not mentioned the issue between man/woman and machine. A lot of shit can happen in that department too. Dell PCs are in general cheap. Ppl tend to foget that you get what you buy. My tip to you is to buy a Sony Vaio that is the top of the line state of the art System. It is 3 times as expensive as average Dell PC. Also get their best support agreement that are availeble and add a hefty sum there too. This is a solution that gets you what you need. A system that dont break down so easy and a support that works with a Blink of an eye.

If you buy the cheapest product in a segement you cant expect get the top of the line product and service. In general the Dell systems works fine but if you want a system that works forever and want a tech on site within 5 hours you have to pay for it....

[Mark]

I bought a Dell and signed up for the 'next business day' repair. When my laptop died and refused to powerup, I called tech support and went through the 45 minute self-repair drill. The tech concluded that I had a bad motherboard and would schedule a replacement to be delivered and installed. This was on Thursday afternoon. On Friday morning, I called Dell support again to make sure the repair would happen that day. The automated system prompted me for my dispatch number, which I did twice, and then told me it was invalid. I started pressing keys until I found one that would get me to a real person. The rep who answered was polite and articulate, and he confirmed that I was using the dispatch number assigned to the case, (no explanation why it was 9 digits instead of 8 like the automated system demands). I told him I wanted to verify that the service call was scheduled. He confirmed that "it should happen today, June 2). I asked if I could contact the service organization who would be sending the tech but I was told that was not possible. Having been reassured that they were aware of the 'next business day' assurance in my contract, I ended the call and waited. And waited. 4:00 on Friday came and nobody had contacted me about scheduling a visit. I called Dell again, and the automated system again refused to take my dispatch number, so I pressed the secret key combination that put me into a hold queue to talk with a live person. 20 minutes later, an Indian woman answered and I told her I needed to verify the service call. She told me I had the wrong service group (although it was the same number I had dialed in the morning)and she would transfer me. I quickly asked for the direct dial number for the 'correct group' and she told me it was the same number I dialed, but just press 3 as an option. Which of the 5 menus she was referring to I don't know, but I heard a few clicks, a 2 minute pause, and then a dial tone. No call back despite the rep taking my number 'in case we get disconnected'. I call again, the system refuses my dispatch number, there is no 'option 3' and I follow the same routine. I get to a pleasant and competent rep and explain my frustration. He expressed surprise that I hadn't received a call and said he would investigate. I alternated between the rep and hold, while the rep 'talked with the repair company' (which I was told was impossible earlier in the day). They didn't have the part, and the rep referred the case to his manager. The manager told me the part was shipped on June 2, and they are hopeful that the repair would happen today. I pointed out that today was June 2, at 4:45pm, and if the part hadn't arrived yet it wasn't going to arrive 'today'. He told me he 'was doing everything he could to make the repair today'. I pointed out that unless he was driving the DHL truck, he couldn't do anything to get the part delivered that day, and that I couldn't wait in my office all weekend in case it arrived. I'm still calm, but I expressed the urgency of my situation and that I had already lost a full day's productivity because I couldn't get anything off my computer. I suggested that he contact any of the other 4-5 dozen service companies in the SF Bay area to see if any of them had the motherboard, and I was willing to drive there to get it fixed. "That's not possible". How about a loaner that I can put my disk into? "That's not possible". "You could take your laptop to a repair shop, but you would void your warranty". So not only does Dell refuse to honor the next-business day clause in the service contract, but they forbid me to get it fixed by anyone who will. The manager tells me he has "done everything he can do", even though he has done nothing to attempt to resolve my problem. I tell him I will have to speak to someone else, and he agrees that I'll be contacted by a Senior Support Analyst within 24-48 hours. We are now in hour 45, no call, no fix, no explanation. It's not the competence I'm upset about, its the failed commitments and intransigence. I'm searching desperately for a Banctec company in hopes that they may actually be more reasonable, as they usually are. This downtime is threatening a presentation I'm due to give on Monday and may cost me a contract. I'm being reasonable in my efforts to resolve this, why can't Dell?

ALL THE COMMENTS THAT ARE POSTED HERE ARE FUNNY!!!LESSON OF THE STORY>>TRY TO READ THE MANUAL AND GET TO KNOW WHAT YOU ARE DOING!!!PROBLEM IS YOU ARE ALL TOO LAZY TO READ THE MANUAL AND EVEN THE CONTRACT THAT YOU SIGNED!!SUPPORT IS THERE TO HELP YOU AS LONG AS YOU CAN HELP YOURSELF..HEHEHE..YOU GUYS ARE FUNNY

[nameless]

to mark, dick hotchkiss, pam, and the others on this blog that are either; 1) backing Dell as a reputable company; 2) backing Dell techs as as competant repair personnel; or 3) telling all of us that we should read our manuals and that it is our own lazy fault that Dell laptops fall apart upon removal from the box---I have this comment to post. You all are missing the point. Dell's stock has fallen rapidly as a result of their horribly build Dell laptops. I read an article in Time magazine with the CEO of the company crying tears all over his $30,000.00 desk over how he doesn't understand why people aren't buying Dells anymore. Well, maybe the reason why is because the horribly constructed laptops can only be fixed "over the phone" by people with accents that no one can understand. Further, even if one can understand their babble, each tech comes up with a solution that the next tech says was incorrect and that tech then comes up with a plan that tech three says is incorrect and that tech has the "correct" answer, when in fact, no one has the correct answer as chicken shit can't be made into chicken soup. As far as being too lazy to read that manual; I am a second year law student and have read the manual extensively as well as the contract. I understand fully what Dell covers and what Dell doesn't cover. I also understand that Dell expects their computer manual to make us all computer experts....hence allowing us owners to fix problems covered by our warranty so we don't have to bother Dell's technicians. Of course, I can see why Dell's technicians don't want to be bothered with our computer problems that we as consumers should be able to fix ourselves...the techs are very busy over there in India covering themselves with cow urine and beating women for not being as pure as the all mighty cow. Oops, hold on, I just dropped my triple thick angus burger. Reading warranties, trying to decipher computer manuals that read like space shuttle assembly instructions, spending endless nights "troubleshooting" with Indians, sending and sending and sending in my computer only to get it back with a new problem all leads to this solution: Dell computers are pieces of shit. For $1,100 I did not expect a computer that never encounted a problem. What I did expect was a computer that worked at least 4 out of 7 days and did not amount to a full time job in phone conversations to make the motherfucker power on. I will never buy another Dell. I hope one day to eat sacred cows in front of every condescending tech I ever spoken with (I think they wre being condescending...I mean it's hard to tell with that maid like accent of theirs) and I'd love to see Dell go the way of Enron. Except that I realize the the CEO's will always escape unscathed with portfolio and Bentley in hand. We can't win against corporations like this. WE can't win against technicians like this. We can't win against shit products like this. What we can do is quit purchasing this crap and write enough blogs where possible future purchasers will see them and know to go to some other shitty company, or maybe go to an independant company. That is now what I have done..and let me tell you...alienware is a great little company with great products. I highly suggest them. I hope everyone that has been screwed by Dell can recoup their losses somehow. I truely feel bad for everyone and I DO NOT BLAME them for not reading their manuals. I DO NOT BLAME them for not being able to understand foreign jibber jabber. I DO NOT BLAME them for "getting what they paid for". We all thought a thousand dollars would get us some kind of quality. We were wrong. Let's all write as much negative things as we kind to warn others of this crap and hopefully put some kind of dent in Dell's wallet.

just in case you are interested to know. alienware is now owned by dell.